perempuan masa kini

I noticed that perempuan masa kini tak tau buat ape. except, dolls up, keluar lepak to so called coolest places in town and being the one yang konon up-to-date. EH? macam terkena batang hidung sendiri.

menjadi satu satunya girl dalam family kadang kadang buat saya rasa bertuah, beruntung and the luckiest! haha. tak pun!

even sometimes I do feels bored, tired and unfair in EVERYTHING!

tak boleh keluar malam.

tak boleh keluar dengan kawan lelaki.

tak boleh buat itu,

tak boleh buat ini...

reasons abah:

keluar malam for a girl bahaya. nanti orang jahat buat buat langgar kereta lepas tu dia kidnap awak. dia buat jahat dengan awak.

keluar dengan lelaki tak boleh *except close friends and yang abah kenal* sebab lelaki jahat. ramai perogol bersiri. kat luar zaman sekarang ni.

eh nak pergi tu buat apa? tu lelaki je ramai. awak perempuan. *for example camping!* gosh!!

I don't even get a chance to go to a concert. -___-

sampaikan satu masa dulu abah tak bagi saya amik driving license sebab dia kata saya muda lagi. should have that in 24 or 25 when I started working.

sigh. -______-

but the best parts are,

I can cook very well,

I can sew my own baju kurung,

I can do the house chores,

I am responsible for each of my family members for example, abang ateh nak kerja at 6 so Ikene masak and make sure dia makan.

cupcakes saya!

ayam goreng rempah.

kuih muih buatan sendiri bukan bazaar ramadhan!

macarons

pavlova penyekss

rendang kerang

cornflakes madu santapan abang abang dan adik lelaki di pagi raya.

red velvet cuppies *yang abang iwan kata sedap menjilat jari!*


*maaf kadang kadang bila abang abang makan masakan saya smpai berulang saya mula jadi riak dan takbur.*

sebab apa?

sebab mak garang. abah garang.

garang macam singa.

kalau dekat rumah, jangan berani berani nak tengok tv especially waktu siang. memanglaaaaaa gunung berapi mak meletups.

mak always teach me that, orang perempuan kene buat itu, orang perempuan kene buat ini.

I am not that good lah. taklah pandai mana. atleast I know how to prepare a decent foods to my brothers.

mak hantar saya belajar menjahit lepas matrikulasi dulu. so that I boleh jahit baju or langsir sikit sikit.

*rasa bangga when ateh mintak tolong saya jahit langsir bilik dia.macamanelahh ateh kahwen nanti. siape nk jahitkn baju dia, langsir dia?*

honestly, it is truly unfair.

I seldom meets my friends during weekends.

I feels like wanna scream my heart out loud when my mum put everything on me.

macam:

• kenapa tak tutup semua pintu dengan lampu??? *padahal the last person is my brother*
• abang nak pergi kerja kenapa tak masak untuk dia? ape kau buat kat rumah hahhh??? *halooooo! my brother is 29 YEAR OLD kotttt*
• tengok tu dah lipat kain biarkan je macam tu! ape nak jadi hahh? *gosh! I dah lipat, baju masing masing apsal laaa tak reti nak angkat. anak raja ke ape abang abang aku ni smpai spender diorang pun aku kene simpankan?? *
• Ila, kau ni nak jadi ape asyik tengok tv jeee? kain baju banyak tak basuh, rumah tak bersapu, bilik bersepah! takde orang pemalas dalam dunia ni macam kau tau!! *padahal kan kat rumah, the ONLY person yang mop, basuh toilet, cuci kitchen cabinet tu kalau bukan ILINADILA siape lahhh lagi yang buat.. sigh.. *

it's like I am responsible for EVERY SINGLE THING in my house.

it is truly unfair when you think about it.orang lain yang makan roti pastu tak simpan balik sampai roti tu keras.yang kene marah siapa?? ILINADILA!

kadang kadang macam nak menjerit terkejut bila kawan kawan tak reti masak udang masak sambal.. HA?? KAU TAK RETI MASAK UDANG MASAK SAMBAL????? halooo! kari ayam tu dah macam hujung jari je kau tauu! *ECEHHH*

memang geram tau bila makcik makcik datang rumah, mak saya mesti cakap saya si pemalas dalam rumah! pening fikir nanti macamanelah dia nak kahwen!

haihhh!

but it's okay. thanks to mummy saya rasa saya EXTRA sikit dari other perempuan masa kini. hehe.

 biarlah orang kata saya noob, biarlah orang kata saya tak up to date. tapi saya perempuan masa kini yang lebih baik SEDIKIT!

sedikit jer.tak lebih.

p/s: saya tak cakap tak de perempuan masa kini tahu memasak. tu model hanis zalikha tu kemain lagi pandai masak? tapi saya rasa adelah 30 percent je kot perempuan masa kini pandai masak? that's why meniaga kedai makan zaman sekarang untung gila. kan??

memorable internship.

Turkey Internship Program

venue: Istanbul University and Yildiz Technic University

nadila

nicky the baby!

amy the sweetgirl!

meme my rumet!

fadirah!

zaty the crazy head!

sufy the baik baik alim!

saba yang manis!

the mysterious faisal.

hafish my bebeh.

qira the funny.

wani little sista

tiha the -who-knows-she-can-be-bengong! haha

fatin the director!

lovely girls and boys. who knows we can be that close just in a short time. we went through a challenging journey, being together in thick and thin of the program.

how I wish I can go back to Istanbul to trace back the places where we spent together.

how I wish I can go back to Istanbul where we enjoy so much fun without thinking any other matter.

how I wish I can go back to Istanbul..

before I met them,except hafish and meme because they are my classmates, thousand thoughts *mostly negative* makes me soooo nervous how am I going to survive the Internship. 

the first time meeting them in FKM, still didn't change anything.

infact, I has this one freaking head thinking that they might be alim, anti sosial and kurang enjoy punya jenis.

at the KLIA before departure, I try my best to get into them even though I was so shy *EHEM*

upon arrival, everything change. we get along together so close as if we've met years ago.

they are fun, they always helping me out especially in those mechanical lab that spinning my head out. and they are the nicest peeps! 

our room in Istanbul University

the happy me!

in front of the historical Istanbul University

classes are boring.let's camwhoring! -___-'

on the cruise.

in front of the Blue Mosque

nicky the baby in front of the Topkapi Palace

beratur

the spice bazaar

playing like small kids in Miniaturk

while waiting for the tram somewhere in Gulhane, Istanbul

beautiful cats in Topkapi

meeting the dean of Mechanical Engine. Faculty and the President of the Yildiz University

spot me with the KFC! haha

me tunjuk skill yang tak seberapa but making qira impressed with the  little talent somehow makes me overwhelmed! ahaha

inside the Blue Mosque

we went to several historical places nearby the Sultanahmed area as our hostel is in the Sultanahmed.

alhamdulillah we manage to visit Topkapi Palace, Grand Bazaar, Spice Bazaar, Suleimaniye Mosque, Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque and Taksim Square by our own. 

I remember everyday after classes we rushed to go for shopping! 

it's early winter thank God.

till now, what I miss the most is the Subuh prayer in Blue Mosque. I remember on the last day, me, tiha, amy, saba,wani and qira went to the mosque at 5am.

berlari lari menggigil tahan sejuk.and there's a dog who chasing us. ingatkan nak gigit rupenya nak menggesek. punya takut mcm nak gila. and I learned that majoriti penduduk Turki ialah bermazhab Hanafi, dan mereka berpendapat solat Subuh lebih afdal di hujung waktu solat menghampiri waktu syuruk. that subuh, after azan, we waited for the solat. but the noob us tertanya tanya kenapa tak solat solat lagi. sampai tertidur kesejukan. atlast, dah hampir 6.40pg baru mula solat.hehe

p/s: I know the pictures are not that nice. abah tak bagi I bawak the dslr sebab tak percaya.haha. so I brought 2 compact cameras. and poor me tak tau cemana nak setting takmau letak date on the pictures. haihhhhhh..

you mean everything to me, abah

abah,
yang tak pernah berhenti memberi aku semangat.
yang tak pernah leka dengan pendidikan anak anaknya.
yang tak pernah sedetik pun melupakan kebajikan anak anaknya.
yang tak pernah sekalipun menuruti keinginannya melebihi keinginan anak anaknya. terutamanya aku.


abah,
selalu jerit supaya aku tak leka.
selalu risau makan minumku terjaga atau tidak.
selalu minta aku tak putus asa dalam pelajaran.
selalu jaga pergaulanku.
selalu berkorban untukku, walau aku tak pernah beri apa apa untuk abah.


kadang kadang memang tak pernah nampak abah senyum bila hati dan fikirannya asyik fikir tentang anak anak, cukupkah makan pakai anak anakku, cukupkah duit anak anakku, selesakah anak anakku, dan macam macam lagi. semua tentang anak anak abah.


teringat pertama kali aku masuk universiti. bersinar sinar muka abah tak tergambar betapa gembiranya abah.
walau aku tek pernah bagi abah keputusan yang boleh buat abah tersenyum. abah tetap sentiasa bagi aku semangat. nasihat dan galakan. tak pernah menjerit walaupun dapat surat dari dekan tentang keputusan aku yang buruk.


masa aku tadika, abahlah yang mandikan aku, pakaikan aku baju tadika yang setiap hari terbalik. dulu tadika kemas baju kurungnya kotak kotak warna merah. butang baju di belakang. tapi abah selalu cakap, baju kurung butang kat depan. setiap hari sampai kelas mesti cikgu tukarkan.


masa tingkatan 5 ade program akujanji pelajar untuk spm. abah kata taknak datang sebab result aku tak bagus. malu kata abah. tapi tiba tiba abah yang muncul demi aku.


abah yang selalu suruh tidur dalam bilik tidur dia bila aku merungut aircond bilik tak sejuk.


teringat juga masa aku nak ke turki hari tu. risaunya abah untuk lepaskan aku. panjanggggggggggggggggggggg nasihat, arahan dan larangan. jangan pergi mana mana sorang sorang. jangan lupa pakai baju banyak lapis. jangan lupa call setiap hari or mak akan call setiap hari. pegang duit elok elok. macam macam lagi.


abah, orang yang terlalu merendah diri.
orang yang sentiasa pemurah (but not with his kids)
orang yang disenangi ramai orang.
orang yang banyak berkorban untuk keluarga.
orang yang sangat patuh pada ibunya.
orang yang terlalu bekerja keras untuk anak anaknya.

abah on a boat ride. on our way to manukan, sapi and gaya islands in Sabah. july 2011

abah, happy belated birthday. semoga Allah merahmati abah. semoga Allah membalas jasa abah yang tidak tergambar besarnya. semoga Allah panjang umur dan domurahkan rezeki.dijauhi dari bala bencana dan penyakit. I love you so much abah.


doa dari aku buat abah.

Ya Rabb

Ya Allah Ya Rabb,
jadikan aku perempuan mulia di kalanganMu,
jadikan aku prempuan bersih hatinya,
jadikan aku perempuan taat kepada penciptanya,
jadikan aku perempuan kuat di jalanMu.

Ya Allah Ya Rahim,
tidakku mampu berdiri tanpa cahaya Mu,
tidakku mampu hidup tanpa berkahMu,
tidakku mampu bernafas tanpa mukjizatMu.

Ya Allah Ya Rahman,
sejujurnya tiap detik nadiku,adalah namaMu bermain main melingkari setiap urat saraf, memberi zatMu yang tidak ternilai agungnya,memberi aku setitik tenaga yang besar nikmatnya, menguatkan langkahku untuk ke jalanMu.

Ya Allah Ya Quddus,
beri aku cahayaMu,
ampuni khilafku,
berkati jalan hidupku,
Amin,Ya Rabbal Alamin...

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over, yeah.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

i wish you were here

i'm strong.

you're just everywhere.



:'(

skudai vs kuala lumpur

disaster kuala lumpur?
is that good enough to describe you, UTM city campus?


I'd never thought that it could be horrible,all messed up and soooooo hard here and there.
I'd never thought I'll miss UTM skudai even more!
I'd never thought life could be this hard being here.


my first day was ended with a big sobbed tears calling my mum telling her everything. I was so hard to adapt with new life here. how I wish I could turn back time to my earlier degree years in skudai. it was totally awesome. though my studies are a bit complicated there.but life in university there was simply great.


I miss the memorable old FKM's (mechanical engineering faculty) building.
I miss classes there.
I miss stranded outside the classes waiting previous class to finish.
I miss walking at the college and the campus.
I miss having a break and lunch at the SUB.
I miss all those occasion we could attend to spend our time while the gap between classes.
I miss the evening life in campus.
I miss the college itself.
I miss morning classes in skudai.
I miss the life I'd have in jb.
I miss everything while I'm in utm skudai.


:'(


how I wish I could turn back time.


being in utm city campus here,there a lots of difficulties we had.


kelas jauhhhhhh.
bus sikit.
abang bus berhenti jauh kene jalan kaki panas.
the college macam errrr..
life here are no fun at all even though klcc depan mata.
akak kolej garang tak membantu tak macam akak kp.
makan susah except for makan kt cafe kolej yg takde choice tu.
environment of the classes are not conducive at all.
pergi kelas macam nak pergi ofis.wheres the campus life?????
*aku ade kereta and macam pointless aku merungut pasal bus!




I know I am a bit kememeh when things are turns out wrong to me. but hey! first day dah mencurah curah airmata mengadu dekat mak. ape ni? 
*memang first day aku senyum tapi kau tau ke dalam hati macam nak meletup?








and I miss him.so much.


dear God, please take a good care of him. amin.

I never leave a second thinking about him.did I ever cross in his mind too?